Saying No to Let in Yes

“No is a complete sentence.” — Oprah

The Last Quarter Moon this November falls on a Friday, the 10th. It might appear hanging in the sky during daylight—as the Moon wanes, it rises a little later, it looks a little thinner. In a few days it will slide into the Balsamic, or Waning phase, but for now, only half of it appears, looking as if there might be a bite taken out of it: it is suspended in the half-glare of the reflected light of the Sun. In one week, we have a New Moon, another chance to reset.

Here in the suspension of the Last Quarter, let’s revise, recalibrate. You may feel vaguely stagnant or discontent, restless or impatient. Maybe you want to work with the messages that came through during the Full Moon last week. Listen to the urges that resonate. During this soon-to-be Waning Moon time, examine what you have to practice saying “no” to in order to let in more “YES,” a yes that feels affirmative and exciting, a yes that is a manifestation.

When we move to a new level of vibration, of responding verse reacting, of new behavior, when we begin manifesting beyond where we have been, we are residing in a truly a different zone. It requires a different form of energy. We can’t take everything with us. We have to let go.

We have to say “no” to let the “yes” in. It is part of the cycle. Piling one thing on top of another thing on top of another thing just will not work. When manifesting true change, we have to say no to the old ingrained behaviors. Sometimes, we actually have to reject more stuff.

Saying no is clearing out what we no longer need. Refusing to get distracted. There is an unfinished sentence. Empty space. An echoey room. For some, this is the definition of terror. For some, being in this place feels excruciating. There is nothing to cling to. No one is looking at us or giving us attention. Our ego is screaming. It wants us to control, to cling, to go back into old, yet familiar territory. Our ego wants to manufacture problem after problem, the ego creates limit
after limit, seemingly without end. It wants to feel safe and it wants to feel fed, or distracted, or made right.

Existing in cleared space, uncertainty, unknown, is a process that must experienced in order to start a new cycle. Farmers weed before planting their harvest. The soil is dormant. The phone doesn’t ring. It might feel daunting, but there’s so much possibility! You can always ask yourself—whether in self-imposed moments of clearing or actual lulls—what needs to get worked on? What must I say “no” to? What must be tended to? On what part within myself do I focus?

What are you currently accepting in your life as status quo?

What are the self-imposed limits that you must reject?

What would lie on the other side of that wall?

During this time, you can throw away things, mend items, try to pay attention to prideful, selfish or defensive behavior, self-defeating thought patterns, and wrap up certain projects—particularly those that have been dragging on, Silly Putty style.

During this Last Quarter Moon, try practicing vocalizing your boundaries. Practice saying no. If you are femme, if you’re a woman, this could be more difficult. If you have been raised to play by the rules, not take up space, play the game, you are used to saying "yes". Sure, of course, no problem. Be polite. Smile with gritted teeth. Don’t rock the boat. Let others cut in line, steal your idea. When it is important, when it is harmful behavior, when it is our boundaries, we can say "no". We are allowed to. We can stand our ground. We can speak up for ourselves. We can call bullshit if that’s what it is. This isn’t easy. Usually, at first it feels uncomfortable. Sometimes, people will try to shame us. That’s not on us; it’s on them. It is their fears and anxieties they are projecting. This may not make us popular or have an immediate reward. But in time, you’ll attract different situations, energies and people who wish to support you just as you are: a fierce lioness or a friendly fortress. Like attracts like.

At the very least, we can watch over and practice using our boundaries as well as honor our decisions to attend to our needs.

If we are to let in the yes, sometimes we must first say no.

Journaling questions:
Where is my ego blocking me?

Where is pride or stubbornness getting in the way of release?

What old stories or narratives do I need to reframe?

What must I clear out to begin a new cycle?

Suggested crystals that are good for boundaries: obsidian, amethyst, malachite, tourmaline, kyanite

—Excerpt from Many Moons 2017, Vol 2

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