The Beauty of Boundaries
"I deserve to have boundaries, and my boundaries are respected. I love and honor myself. I am safe. All is well.” —Louise Hay
Four days ago we sprung into Spring. The Spring Equinox was on the 20th with the Sun standing right over the equator line—marking the date when night and day are exactly the same length. You might have celebrated Ostara, the Pagan holiday of seeds, new beginnings, and plantings. Our days are longer, the Earth is getting warmer, seeds are ready to be planted into the soil. Two days ago, the planet Mercury went into retrograde. Four days ago as well, the Zodiac wheel switched from Pisces to Aries: a new year of sorts. The stars move from water to fire.
In the introduction, we discussed the First Quarter/Waxing Moon being synonymous with the archetype of Spring. We’ve now got a Waxing Moon during the first official days of Spring. Time to ramp up our magic! Be responsible for our energy! Try a new thing or two; collect a new good habit or two!
Today, Saturday, the Moon herself goes into First Quarter. We are about a week away from a lovely, action-packed Full Blue Moon: the second Full Moon of this Month! It is time to plan, time to recalibrate. Time to check in on those New Moon intentions you may have made. Time to clap your hands, snap out of haziness. It is time to refocus! Time to think about rituals, rededication. Time to reconnect with the soft warm soil inside your skin, that glowing ground inside of your heart where you can plant your intentions, grow your gifts, gather your gumption, and step into the matters of your life that matter most.
Usually during a Waxing Moon, we have more energy. We are able to take on more, expand. We can do spells for abundance, growth, building our own strength, and all external wants. Tangibility is the name of the Waxing Moon’s game: what must you do, in tangible terms, to create more paths to your goals—especially your goals of the past year, specifically related to any intentions from your last New Moon? What systems or structures could be implemented in certain areas of your life?
Our Moon goes First Quarter in the sign of Cancer. Crabs have shells: a skeleton on the outside of their body. Crabs are walking shields. They are so vulnerable inside, only organs and delicate meat. Cancer is the sign of the home and hearth, how we build safety and stability in an uncertain world. We can think about one of the most integral ingredients for our energy bodies: boundaries! Good, consistent boundaries make you feel at home anywhere. Boundaries act as safe spaces and help manage your emotions and energy. A boundary is a fact about what you require. Boundaries are reasonable preferences and needs that help you feel seen and respected. Boundaries can include the physical, the material, the mental, the emotional, the sexual, and the spiritual. Oftentimes, boundaries are referred to as something to only utilize with other people, but a great place to start is with yourself.
Appropriate boundaries, when considered and worked on, provide us with even more alignment and momentum. You can define what you need to give yourself. This could include habits, behaviors, affirmations, and treatment. Clear ways to tell if it is time to have a boundary check-in is if you feel out of control, resentful, angry for little or no reason at all, or are exhausted. Your emotions are a wonderful indicator of where you can think about drawing boundaries. These could all point to getting truthful about boundaries with your time, your thoughts, your habits, your emotions, and other behaviors.
Defining clearly what these are for you would be a time well spent. Do you need to give yourself more rest, more walks, and less screen time? Do boundaries around worrying, self-blame, and punishment need to be instated? Should there be less obsessing about the future or the opinions of those you cannot control? Do you need to lessen time spent with certain people, and spend more time alone? Is the perceived obligation you have created to go to certain events and be in certain places with certain people making you feel thinly spread, scattered, ungrounded?
Remember, you have a right to your needs. You alone get to choose them. How often do you agree to do things that later you regret or feel resentful about? How much of your time is spent making other people happy, or attending to other people’s needs, and how much is spent putting your dreams first?
Expressing these boundaries kindly and clearly with others you care about can be very helpful to all parties involved. Almost no one is a mind reader. Communicating our needs kindly and clearly is a sign of strength and care to those in our lives we love. We do not have to flood our boundaries with emotion. Of course, we can utilize mindfulness to look to our emotions as indicators of what a boundary might be. If we feel safe, if it seems as though the person would be open to recognizing your boundary, you can bring it up. Remember, if someone is consistently ignoring or disrespecting your boundary, you don’t have to be open to them. You get to decide who you feel safe around and who you let into your life. Here’s a spoiler alert about boundaries: if you’ve got them, other people will not always like them! In fact, having secure boundaries and stating them will most likely tick off some people in your life. You might lose people over your developing self-worth and self-esteem. That can be a symptom of transition and positive growth.
If you are reading this, most likely you are empathetic, you are intuitive, you might be sensitive or even psychic. A lot of us who fit these descriptions weren’t always taught to have boundaries in any way, brought up with a psychic toolkit, or given psychic boundary tools and techniques. A lot of us were not taught that our intuition and needs are worthy of respect, trust, or authority.
For any intuitive, strong boundaries around your aura and your psychic space are imperative. It is important to discern where your energy and other energies begin and end. It is important to protect your precious energy and your energetic space. There is nothing selfish or wrong about listening to your intuition and protecting your own most powerful assets: your emotional energy, your aura, your mental energy, your spiritual energy, your physical energy, and your psychic energy.
During this week, take stock of your boundaries. Commit, or recommit, to one or two boundaries that will help you feel more aligned, less stressed out, and less stretched. Start small and be specific. Practice makes progress. At first it might feel scary, but ultimately having clear boundaries frees you up for opportunities and people who deserve your beautiful self.
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