Sunday, September 25th
in Libra 2°49'
2:55 pm PST
Boundaries Work Best with Yourself:
A New Moon Ritual for Intrinsic Boundaries
by Sarah Faith Gottesdiener
Happy New Moon! Happy Equinox!
This week you may be feeling the shift that occurs whenever there is a change of seasons. And this week, we had two: the zodiacal, with the sun moving into tropical Libra, and the autumnal one: the Northern Hemisphere is officially in Autumn. The shifts in our external world often mirror those in the interior.
This New Moon in tropical Libra refreshes on a day associated with sight and truth. Check in and take stock of your life right now. Celebrate how far you’ve come: you are light years away from who you were at the start of 2022. There are three months left of this year: how do you want to spend them? What do you wish to experience, heal, or archive?
No matter what state you are in, these larger seasonal shifts are always an opportune time to clear away stagnant energy and create better, or more aligned, boundaries.
Having clear and practiced boundaries is imperative in order to connect intimately with one’s intuition. Like any dear friend, intuition thrives in trust and in appropriate containers. Boundaries help create and preserve the most sacred thing you possess: that’s you, babe, that’s you!
When it is time to transform into the next version of our spirit’s song, the quality and construction of one’s boundaries must change as well. If you are feeling into a change, think about the behaviors, energies, and boundaries that need to be enacted.
Much of what we are taught about boundaries is that they happen on the outside to protect the inside. That they are reactive, rigid, easily weaponized, and often unclear. That they make someone unloveable or “difficult.” Because they feel fumbled and unpracticed, they often punish everyone involved. Those types of boundaries are akin to a wall and are actually defenses. If you’ve practiced those kinds of boundaries, but still feel exhausted or resentful, it’s time to connect to your intrinsic boundaries.
Intrinsic boundaries are what I call boundaries that begin from your needs and integrity, so that they are consistently being honored by your choices and your actions. They are born from a place from checking in with your energy, desires, and needs and staying in alignment with that specific state.
Intrinsic boundaries are boundaries from the inside out.
Intrinsic boundaries feel good.
They are radically honest. You are no longer betraying yourself, or others. Often, we will state a boundary—a clear no, thank you—but will feel guilty about it for hours, and will ruminate on what the other person thinks about us. Those are not intrinsic boundaries. There is no boundary kept with the Self. Our energy isn’t in alignment, and over time, trust gets eroded.
Get your boundaries in alignment with yourself first. Know what you need. Know what you like, and what you don’t. Your boundaries require no explanation. Be disciplined enough to give yourself what you need first. Stay in energetic congruence as much as possible.
In this world, so torn apart by non-consensual exchanges, promise to be consensual with yourself. Ignore your needs over time, and become a parched desert. Set down roots in the practices of dignity and truth, and experience an ecosystem that easily regenerates.
Remember that this is a process: stay compassionate. Understand that we are all works in progress. We don’t heal with the same energy that the wound was created with. Hold space for yourself in ways you needed most when you were a child. Create conditions for luck, thriving, and opportunities. On this New Moon, commit to a practice of honoring yourself and your deepest needs.